True Love Story

Two years ago I lost my grandparents 3 days apart. 

I grew up spending every summer at my grandparent's house. Every summer I spent the full eight weeks there with my dad, grandma, and grandpa. I suppose it is probably the reason why I have always loved summer so much. I grew up very close with my grandma, everywhere she went I was sure to follow. Summers were all about baking cookies, going to concerts outdoors, lunch on Tuesday mornings with the old gals, sports, swimming, lots of cousin time and all things fun! 

Me and Grandma

When my grandma began to get dementia I didn't realize how bad it was until we were at my cousins baby shower and my grandma was asking me where Tessa was. At first, I thought she was joking so I played along, "I think she will be here, she sure is pretty isn't she?" My grandma answered, "yes she is... but I really thought she was going to be here", there was a sadness in her eyes that made me realize she was very serious. I left the room and broke into tears. Everything seemed to change after that and as the years went on she got worse and worse. 

Eventually, my grandparents moved into assisted living, their things got dispersed or sold and the home they had lived in for over 50 years, that I had grown up in, was sold. My grandpa was very with it but very tired. His last New Years alive I called him and wished him a happy New Year, he said he was tired and ready to go home, that New Years didn't mean much to him anymore. He was a saint in taking care of my grandma who became hard to manage at times. 

I had seen my grandparents over the summer in 2016, I had a feeling it would be the last time. My grandma was declining and didn't have a clue who I was. However, as we were leaving her for the last time she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said "I will miss you" and for a split second, it seemed as if she understood what that moment meant and was aware of who I was. 

Last time we saw my grandparents

Over the fall they moved my grandma to an Alzheimer's unit. It broke my heart to know that she and my grandpa would not be together every day. It just became too much for him to care for her, he would see her when he could but even that was exhausting. 

On December 14th my dad was flying to Arizona so that he could be with us for Christmas. My aunt had assured him that it would be ok for him to be gone because grandpa and grandpa were both doing really well. I got a phone call from my cousin and I knew instantly that something was wrong. She said grandpa had a "catastrophic event", which could be assumed meant he likely had a heart attack. He was declining quickly. My dad showed up to my house right after I found out and I had to tell him the news. He felt horrible for leaving but he told me that he had just seen grandpa and that he was doing really well. By Friday it was clear he was not going to make it. My dad and I decided to book flights out on that Sunday so that we would be able to go to the funeral the following week. 

On Saturday, Dec. 16 at 1:50 am grandpa passed away. Everyone's concern at that time was whether we would take grandma to the funeral or not. The condition she was in was not one that would be wise to take her out, it often would make situations worse when she was out of her comfort zone. 

My dad and I were at the airport on Sunday when he got a phone call saying that grandma was declining quickly. I had no clue that anything was wrong with her. I later found out that the night my grandpa passed away she cried out "Pain! Pain!" at the same time and the next day she couldn't walk or move or talk anymore. She was basically in an awake state coma. By Sunday she wasn't moving at all. Nobody had told her about grandpa. I couldn't believe it. 

We got to Indiana and spent the whole day by my grandma's side. I left around 11 pm and she passed away at 2:16 am on the 19th.

We laughed later when we talked about how we were trying to decide whether to take grandma to grandpas funeral because grandma was always the leader and in charge, we said that grandma said, "You better believe I will be at that funeral!"

While losing my grandparents the week before Christmas was hard, I couldn't help but smile, thinking about my grandparents being in Heaven together. We were able to have their funerals together and the song "I'll be Home For Christmas" was sung. I experienced so much of God's love that week. He was in every single detail and seeing how He took them both at the same time reminded me of His goodness and His love for us. I could not have imagined my grandma not being at the funeral, or even knowing that she was still alive away from everyone until her time came.

An honorable going away for a Navy Vet. and his bride

Today Juliana asked me if her nana was going to die because she is old. I had to tell her yes, one day she will die and so will her grandma and grandpa and so will I and her daddy (She asked me how old I am, and when I told her she told me "oh you aren't THAT old, you still have a longgg time!" whew I'm glad she doesn't think I am that old yet!). It can feel like a grim reality some days, but when my grandparents passed away there was such a peace in my heart about it all. It proved to me that souls are connected, that Notebook stories are real and that God has such a deep love for us that he won't allow us to suffer even a minute longer than we must. 

Sometimes people wonder if there is a God why He allows people to get sick, or get Alzheimer's, or to live so long that they are so miserable. My only thought is that He does it for the rest of us so that we can experience more of Him. While my Aunt Bonnie was caring for my grandparents I know there were days she was tired and surely wondering why she was left to care for them, but I know people were watching her, the nurses, her friends, the rest of our family. People got to experience God through my aunt caring for my grandparents.

This is the 2nd year anniversary of their death, and while I spend time thinking of them and missing them, I feel a joy that is unexplainable. I experienced more love from those 2 than is possible in a lifetime. I saw what a 68-year marriage produced. It produced love, laughter, faith, service, kindness and so much more. I can look at the lives my grandparents lived and the life they gave me and I can be thankful that they helped me become who I am today.

The last summer I saw my grandpa he said, "you know Tessa, there was a while there we thought we had lost you, but you came around and you are a good girl." Words like that from my grandpa mean everything to me, to know he had prayed for me relentlessly and that he was able to see me find my way back to God was such a blessing to both of us.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of them, I thank God for the time I had with them and that my kids knew them. I will see them again one day.