Thursday, April 18, 2013

Cleaning with Meaning

One of Jorge and I's biggest fights has always been cleaning. He is a clean FREAK and I am very laid back. Not to say that I'm messy or not clean but things that bother him don't even phase me. For example, I can clean the kitchen and when Jorge gets home I say, "look babe I cleaned the kitchen!" he says good job and tries to be excited but really I know he's not impressed. To him cleaning the kitchen means cleaning every little thing, he looks at the stainless steal and the microwave and stove.. etc. things that I don't even think about cleaning. The fingerprints on the dishwasher don't phase me, yet to him that means the kitchen is not actually clean. One thing that I was able to learn about Jorge about 4 years into our relationship was that his love language is Acts of Service. Ladies, knowing your mans love language is huge! Knowing this about him helped to know why he was so cranky when the house would be a mess even though I was trying to be nice and cuddle him. over the years I really have worked on my cleaning habits, but with 2 little tornadoes running around, most days the house takes a backseat. Jorge has always been really good about helping me with the cleaning and as frustrated as he gets with me he still works with me and encourages me.

I think one reason that I just can't stand my house is because its always a mess. By the time I pick up all the toys I don't have the energy to do the real cleaning, so more often then not floors don't get mopped, toilets don't get scrubbed and so on and so on. Knowing that a 3rd bean is on the way I just needed some kind of relief and plan. I think Jorge saw this and knew better then anyone else exactly what I needed {its not a cleaning lady, but he has let me get one several times}.
While I was in San Diego Jorge cleaned the house, when I say he cleaned the house I don't mean he just picked up and did the dishes, I mean he CLEANED! He really does clean better then anyONE I know {including that cleaning lady I paid}. When I got home I tried to keep up with it and keep it clean but I was sick for one and cleaning makes me feel like a chicken with my head cut off. I go from room to room doing who knows what because I get so distracted so easily. Anyway, Jorge suggested that we come up with a chores list. Monday through Friday we would do something at night. One of us would clean while the other gave the kids a bath and the next night we would alternate. I love this plan for a couple of reasons..1. We are working TOGETHER. Jorge didn't say YOU need a chore list he said WE need a chore list. 2. This guarantee's that things get done every week at least once a week. 3. We have each other to hold accountable. I have tried to have a chore list for myself, it usually lasts a couple of weeks before it just fizzles out. So we sat down together and came up with a weekly chore list. I wanted a chore for during the day also so we came up with that too.
Monday- Day, Laundry -Night, Put away
Tuesday-Day, Kitchen - night, bathrooms
Wednesday- Day, dust - night, toilets
Thursday- Day, Mop - night, vacuum
Friday- Grill, party RELAX
We decided we wanted to have the house done and clean by Friday so that if we wanted to have people over it would be done and we could just hang out. Also we have the kids putting their toys away every night before bed.
I'm sure anyone that reads this thinks that I am crazy and doesn't understand why its so complicated for me. Most of the women/moms I know don't have issues with cleaning but I do.. its a downfall of mine. I'm just happy to have a husband who helps and See's it as both of our responsibilities. He's never told me that its my job and that I need to do it, or to figure it out and I love that he pushes me and helps make me better. Isn't that what marriage is about? When you are weak in an area your spouse helps you up and through it and they make you want to do better. I hope that this works for us, I really do. I will keep ya'll posted in the weeks to come. I can tell you that this week has already been a major improvement! Waking up to a clean house everyday and knowing exactly what needs to be done is such a relief. Plus I know how happy it makes Jorge and that's what counts the most. Don't worry he knows my love language and is very good about doing what he knows makes me happy as well. Although, we did re-do the test about a year ago and his had changed slightly, so maybe that just means that I was doing better at meeting that love language. If you don't know yours or your spouses I suggest doing the quiz.I believe this is the link
Good luck!!