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Showing posts from December 16, 2018

Christmas Time Blues

Sitting on the floor, looking up at the big green tree I felt so happy, such joy. I looked up the gorgeous stairs and to the high ceilings in a home that wasn't mine. It wasn't anyone's home. It was a model home and it was where we celebrated our Christmas that year. When I was a kid I loved Christmas! What kid doesn't?! I loved the cookies, the food, the gifts, but most of all I LOVED having so many people around. Family was the absolute best part of Christmas for me. I grew up with 2 sets of grandparents plus a step-grandma, each one of them spoiled me like crazy. I didn't have a ton of cousins but it always felt so full, packed in tiny houses, it was so comfy. As I grew older Christmas changed a little, but not too much. It wasn't until my mom and step dad got a divorce that things changed. Suddenly Christmas' felt smaller, it was not as big and grand as it had been. My stepdad would give us amazing gifts for Christmas and his family was a big part...

True Love Story

Two years ago I lost my grandparents 3 days apart.  I grew up spending every summer at my grandparent's house. Every summer I spent the full eight weeks there with my dad, grandma, and grandpa. I suppose it is probably the reason why I have always loved summer so much. I grew up very close with my grandma, everywhere she went I was sure to follow. Summers were all about baking cookies, going to concerts outdoors, lunch on Tuesday mornings with the old gals, sports, swimming, lots of cousin time and all things fun!  Me and Grandma When my grandma began to get dementia I didn't realize how bad it was until we were at my cousins baby shower and my grandma was asking me where Tessa was. At first, I thought she was joking so I played along, "I think she will be here, she sure is pretty isn't she?" My grandma answered, "yes she is... but I really thought she was going to be here", there was a sadness in her eyes that made me realize she ...