One of my goals this year is to blog twice a month. Well... this is February and I already failed by missing January. I'm not beating myself up over it though, I'm just picking it up and moving forward this month!
In January I thought about blogging but I just didn't feel like I had anything to say. I didn't feel like I had anything I could write about that would end at a positive place. I don't like to just word dump all of my issues and then not follow up with some encouraging words.
I still don't feel like I have anything super encouraging to say but I'm here and we will see where this goes.
In January Jorge left for deployment, the 2 months leading up to it were very draining. Full of a lot of anxiety and worry and all the things that I couldn't control. It got to the point where I just wanted him to go already so we could get to regular life. He ended up having to leave a day earlier than we expected and that was really hard on all of us.
After he left I took the kids to Phoenix. Juliana had her first gymnastics competition and Gabes 10th birthday was on that Sunday. We had a good time and then came home to start life without daddy.
To be honest, I have been keeping the kids so busy and distracted they haven't had too much time to think about missing him. When we do have a down moment it all falls apart. They all take turns crying and each of them responds very differently. I know I can't keep them distracted every moment of every day, and I know it is probably not a healthy thing to do, it is just how I have always handled my own feelings... by running away from them. So we are learning about expressing and feeling our emotions together.
At the end of January I also got bad news about my health progress (Or lack thereof) it was super frustrating and I felt completely discouraged. We have a new plan moving forward but I am still feeling mentally drained by it all.
Next weekend we are headed to Vegas for a gymnastics competition, so today we are trying to have a down day at home.
I know that God is going to grow us in this time and I look forward to what He will do. I have already seen some cool things happen. Like when Jocelyn told me she wanted to apologize to her teacher for calling her rude, I didn't prompt her to do it she decided all on her own. Gabe has been helping out so much around the house, without being told. I hear him in his room listing to Mercy Me, which makes me so proud. The very first song that Jorge would listen to and liked from the Christian genre was "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me, so it's fun to see how much Gabe loves them now. Juliana and I have had A LOT of good deep talks about leadership, character, respect and so much more. As hard as she can be I know that she is listening and trying.
As for me, I'm just praying for peace and learning a lot about parenting. In this time I am really learning how to pray, what to pray for and forcing myself to look outside of myself. It would be so easy to be completely focused on the hard things right now and not see anyone else but God is showing me so many hurting people and reminding me of my passions.
Some days feel like an anchor is wrapped around my waist and I am at the bottom of a pool trying to desperately swim to the top for a breath, but there are days that I can stop and smell the roses, I can see the sunset or the mountains and feel that I have a great big God who is holding me and my family tightly right now.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
*Sorry this is kind of all over the place... but now I can check 1 blog post off of my list ;)
In January I thought about blogging but I just didn't feel like I had anything to say. I didn't feel like I had anything I could write about that would end at a positive place. I don't like to just word dump all of my issues and then not follow up with some encouraging words.
I still don't feel like I have anything super encouraging to say but I'm here and we will see where this goes.
In January Jorge left for deployment, the 2 months leading up to it were very draining. Full of a lot of anxiety and worry and all the things that I couldn't control. It got to the point where I just wanted him to go already so we could get to regular life. He ended up having to leave a day earlier than we expected and that was really hard on all of us.
After he left I took the kids to Phoenix. Juliana had her first gymnastics competition and Gabes 10th birthday was on that Sunday. We had a good time and then came home to start life without daddy.
To be honest, I have been keeping the kids so busy and distracted they haven't had too much time to think about missing him. When we do have a down moment it all falls apart. They all take turns crying and each of them responds very differently. I know I can't keep them distracted every moment of every day, and I know it is probably not a healthy thing to do, it is just how I have always handled my own feelings... by running away from them. So we are learning about expressing and feeling our emotions together.
At the end of January I also got bad news about my health progress (Or lack thereof) it was super frustrating and I felt completely discouraged. We have a new plan moving forward but I am still feeling mentally drained by it all.
Next weekend we are headed to Vegas for a gymnastics competition, so today we are trying to have a down day at home.
I know that God is going to grow us in this time and I look forward to what He will do. I have already seen some cool things happen. Like when Jocelyn told me she wanted to apologize to her teacher for calling her rude, I didn't prompt her to do it she decided all on her own. Gabe has been helping out so much around the house, without being told. I hear him in his room listing to Mercy Me, which makes me so proud. The very first song that Jorge would listen to and liked from the Christian genre was "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me, so it's fun to see how much Gabe loves them now. Juliana and I have had A LOT of good deep talks about leadership, character, respect and so much more. As hard as she can be I know that she is listening and trying.
As for me, I'm just praying for peace and learning a lot about parenting. In this time I am really learning how to pray, what to pray for and forcing myself to look outside of myself. It would be so easy to be completely focused on the hard things right now and not see anyone else but God is showing me so many hurting people and reminding me of my passions.
Some days feel like an anchor is wrapped around my waist and I am at the bottom of a pool trying to desperately swim to the top for a breath, but there are days that I can stop and smell the roses, I can see the sunset or the mountains and feel that I have a great big God who is holding me and my family tightly right now.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12
I'm sure doing my best!
*Sorry this is kind of all over the place... but now I can check 1 blog post off of my list ;)
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