Do you ever get tired of caring? Do you wish that you could just hide in a closet all day and avoid everyone and every problem and every thought? I hope I'm not the only one (well actually I hope I am the only one, I don't want anyone to feel that way). Sometimes I want to just stop caring about a person(s), stop talking to them, stop showing them that I need them. I want to cut them out, but in my cutting them out I want to not care, to not dwell on it. I want it to be easy, like they never existed. I know it sounds harsh and maybe you are thinking " wow what did this person(s) do to you?!" Nothing. They did nothing really, and it's not even really one person. There are situations I want to run away from as well. What I really want is for things to be easier, for the answers to be so clear and to be able to stop thinking so much.
I sat in my playroom yesterday for a good 30 minutes with so many thoughts running through my head that I couldn't even concentrate on one at a time. It was so overwhelming; when your head is so consumed with so much, it is exhausting.
I finally stopped myself, I told myself to be still, to take all of my concerns to God because there was no way that I was going to work it all out on my own.
So I did.
I took one thing at a time and I laid them at His feet.
I asked for
wisdom (James 1:5)
discernment (Proverbs 2:1-5)
peace (Psalm 46:10
forgiveness (1 John 1:9)
contentment (Luke 6:46-49; Matthew 7:7)
patience (Romans 12:12; Galatians 6:9)
and I even shook my fist at him at one time (not proud of that but after weeks of having something on my heart I am SO ready for Him to deal with it.)
After I was done, I had a peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). You can't understand the peace unless you have faith and you truly hand it all over to God.
I'm not saying that I'm done dealing with all of these situations, people or thoughts but I am able to separate them and as they enter my head I can get past them much easier. I am learning that if I just stay in constant communication with Him that the peace is there more often then not. I still have lots of questions, and I still need a lot of answers from Him, but having a head full of thoughts and feeling overwhelmed will not help me find those answers.
3 verses that I have been keeping nearby lately are:
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-
His good, pleasing and perfect will."
"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up
against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. "
2 Corinthians 10:5
"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
Be self-controlled and alert."
1 Peter 5:7-8
Running from our problems or shutting people out won't solve anything. Hand it over to the only one who can truly fix it all, if you allow Him to take on the burden He will and if you will just be still He will answer you. I have to set aside myself and my views every single day and hand it over to Him, sometimes multiple times a day. I will continue to until it is all done.