Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Admitting failure

Okay guys here it goes... After writing my last post on dealing with keeping your sanity, I lost it. Sunday was a really bad day for me, I mean really bad. However, I woke up on Monday with good intentions of it being a good day... And that went south real fast. It was a horrible day. I did go to the gym that afternoon and it helped tremendously. So, Tuesday I woke up yet again with good intentions. My morning went great, as I was in Tucson alone the whole morning. The afternoon went okay but the night was horrible. I just lost it. Sometimes you know the RIGHT things to do or you know what you SHOULD do but we get stubborn and stuck in our own heads and choose to do the wrong thing instead. Then we feel lost, defeated, and then horrible regret. I'm going to add 2 things to my list of how to stay sane and really these 2 might be the very most important. 

1. Ask for help! 
I have certain people that I go to for advice on different subjects. I used to never ask for help but I'm in a place in my life where if I need help in any way I ask for it and if it's offered I take it! I think it's so important to let someone know your state of mind. Mine has been pretty fragile lately, as in ADMIT ME ASAP so that I can bang my head on a cushioned wall! Talking to my husband has been a huge help, just knowing I have his support is tremendous. Also talking to other moms who are going through it with you. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one with these problems and I really start to question myself, but then I talk to a mom in the exact same situation and instantly feel better! Lastly, talking to a mom who has been through it. I have an amazing mentor mom who has become a great friend and huge source of support for me. She's able to help me laugh through my hard times because she has been there and she's proof that it will all be alright. 
It's better to put yourself out there and let people see your imperfections, then it is to hold it all in and lead people to believe everything is great all the time. Because when you do hit a total breaking point nobody will understand or be able to help you through it. 

2. Get right with the Lawd!
Some people may not want to hear {read} this part but you need to get right with God. Get in a church, surround yourself with good Christian women. I have been back in church for almost 5 years now and it's been a roller coaster just as every relationship is. However, I can tell you that when I am in my Bible, praying, spending time with other Christian ladies there is an absolute peace and quiet in my life. Everything comes so much easier. My patience is at an all time high when I'm right with Him. Things are just good and right with the world. Not to say that there aren't still bad days but they are much more far and few between. If you don't want to go to church for yourself then go for your children's sake. The world that we are growing them up in is a rough, ugly world. The least we can do for them is give them some good moral ground to stand on. To give them that chance to decide what they want to believe as they grow up. A great way to get started in a church is to go to a women's bible study. They are not religion based it's just straight up this is what the bible says. It's a great way to dive into and understand the bible and a great way to meet people! I find that the Bible keeps me very grounded and it brings life into perspective. When I find myself focusing in on all of the bad I can read one good verse and be reminded that this life is about SO much more then just what's right in front of us. Ladies, God does love you no matter what you have done, He WANTS to help you through these hard times. Go to Him and I promise he won't let you down! 

Let's be real with eachother, let's take off our perfection masks and let people know that sometimes we go through hard times too. Everyone does but I feel like so many people mask it. I'm not saying run down the street with a sign admitting your failures but be open when necessary. You never know how your hardships will help someone else or how someone can speak into your life if you just open up to them. 

I failed... A lot this week, but I'm going to pick up once again and start all over again each and every single day because my children are 100% worth the effort. Hopefully by putting myself out there I can help another mama, you just never know. 

Next post will be more fun I promise! 

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