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Showing posts from 2014

In The Eye of The Storm

Sometimes life can make you feel like you're right in the middle of a horrible storm. You get thrown things at you left and right and it seems like it's never going to end. Just when you think it's over it starts up again. It makes me think of a hurricane, you get through the rough and the bad parts of it only to get to the eye of the storm. You think you are safe, everything is so calm and really great and then out of nowhere the storm starts again. What you don't know is that the second part of the storm is the way out and near the end. Getting through the storm doesn't always mean that there isn't destruction, sometimes there are pieces that are left broken that have to be put back together again. Work still has to be done to fix what the storm has torn apart.  Yet, at the end of the storm there is also a beautiful rainbow, something great is guaranteed to come from the horrible mess that you just confronted.  Yesterday I was driving and it was the most beaut

Letting Go

Gabe has his first field trip today! He's going all the way to tucson ekkkk and Im an anxiety attack waiting to happen!  I was going to go with him but I decided that I need to let him go do this on his own. Yet the crazy thoughts are still in my head, everything bad that could possibly go wrong. An hour drive seems like eternity when it comes to your child!  I wish somebody would have told me how overwhelming this whole first year of school can be. He is 3 months into school and I still want to cry everytime I watch him walk towards the school, or when his teacher said "enjoy KINDERGARDEN it flys by". I want to bawl even when I think about the end of the school year. Everything is so different now that he is in school. It has made me realize that I need to appreciate my time with my girls while I still have them at home. Suddenly everything doesn't seem so overwhelming, instead it's easier to cope with Juliana's drama and her constant need for attention.  If

Who Cares?

Do you ever get tired of caring? Do you wish that you could just hide in a closet all day and avoid everyone and every problem and every thought? I hope I'm not the only one (well actually I hope I am the only one, I don't want anyone to feel that way). Sometimes I want to just stop caring about a person(s), stop talking to them, stop showing them that I need them. I want to cut them out, but in my cutting them out I want to not care, to not dwell on it. I want it to be easy, like they never existed. I know it sounds harsh and maybe you are thinking " wow what did this person(s) do to you?!" Nothing. They did nothing really, and it's not even really one person. There are situations I want to run away from as well. What I really want is for things to be easier, for the answers to be so clear and to be able to stop thinking so much.   I sat in my playroom yesterday for a good 30 minutes with so many thoughts running through my head that I couldn't even conc

Pinterest Party

A couple of months ago our women's ministry decided to do a Pinterest themed women's fall event. I loved the idea and got right to planning! I made daily trips to hobby lobby {so I could use my 40% off coupon}, I enlisted other ladies to go to hobby lobby for me, I held friends hostage in their own homes for hours upon hours as we worked on decorations and crafts, and I prayed... A lot.  The week before the party I had a lot of "distractions" which was good and bad. I did a lot of self evaluations, had a lot of pep talks with myself and with God. I think 2 things were going on that week:  1. Satan was on full attack mode and  2. God was playing baseball with me.  Satan was really trying to distract me from the task at hand as well as take away my joy. And at the same time I felt like God was throwing me a whole lot of stuff all at once. I compare it to baseball; sometimes God threw me a perfect pitch and I would knock it out of the park, test completed and